| Excerpt from book: Open Letter to His Majesty and Excellency Christ-Jesus Process of Salvation – Part 2 (Continuation from Part 1) (Open Letter pages 36-37). Let me now testify how this transformation has been performed in me. So, I have been singing in tongues, praying in tongues, counselling, ushering, counting money, catching people around the altar, teaching junior Bible class, prophesying and serving on the Board of Deacons. And yet, in my spiritual new man I was quite blind, deaf and quite paralysed, even though You began to show me the spiritual realities some time ago. And, yes, those defeats in trying to put the word “Renewal” into practise only bred frustrations. In fact, these frustrations grew in quantity and in depth. The more You showed me of the depth of our spiritual misery, the more I saw my own impotency to do anything about it. On top of that, I found nobody with whom to share my burdens and the frustrations. Nobody! Yes, there were some, even some deacons, who saw certain things that were not “kosher”, but none of them saw the spiritual realities, reasons and roots! My burdens, my frustrations, ran much deeper and nobody could help nor show the way out. Finally, You showed me my own wretchedness! I was no better. And today, I do greatly praise You for that, my greatly Beloved! That was the time when You, as it were, showed me the straight gate – and enabled me to enter in and step onto the narrow road! Today I believe, yea, I know, Lord, that as no one is interested even in one’s own salvation until seeing one’s own outward misery and sinfulness, equally so, no born-again Christian is ever interested in some straight gate or some narrow road – until seeing one’s OWN INNER, SPIRITUAL MISERY AND SINFULNESS! Shortly thereafter, You caused me to take the first step on that narrow road – it was a sledgehammer blow to my pride! I believed very sincerely I was ready and fit to teach the adult Bible class. I studied the Bible diligently for years and freely received from You. Then, why not give freely to others for the Glory of God? You straightened me out quite well in saying: “My son, you know nothing as yet! Mental knowledge of My Word does not make anyone a teacher, let alone a pastor! No, not in My eyes. But you must first LEARN TO SUFFER … yes, to suffer … go, therefore, and listen, and suffer and wait. I know when your time will come.” So I went and suffered. And after some months, a reorganisation of the Sunday school classes and teachers was done and I was told by the Superintendent himself what an opportunity was there and how the Lord can neatly and marvellously arrange things. So I was looking forward to those neatly and marvellously arranged things with great hopes, enthusiasm and plans. When the time came, I was asked to collect offerings from each class, count them and do a head-count in each class for our statistics! So much for my teaching, dear Lord. BUT I OBEYED – and I performed that job faithfully as unto You (You gave it to me, right?). And I felt both good and terrible. I thank You for that, too. Little did I know at that time, that I would no longer teach anybody anything in that church since You would take me out in about three years. (To be continued next week in part 3) brother Hanola … < Link to book Open Letter > |